So we're not back to square one, but pretty close. Last week's permission to start to ease into running again was NOT successful. After giving it two separate trys, the walk/jog was just too painful and no matter how much I chanted "No pain, no gain," I just couldn't do it. The entire week saw my ankle and tendons aching and me wishing that I had waited longer.
Today I saw the Physio Therapist, and now I'm back in an ankle support with limited use, and a slow release anti-inflammatory for the next 10 days. Given the fact that I've gained almost a pound a week since the injury, I suppose I'll also be adding another couple of pounds before this is all over.
I don't want to sound melodramatic, but I feel like my runner identity is slowly slipping away. It feels as if I am losing the control that I had over my life, my weight and my sense of well being. Running did so much for me and honestly, without it I feel sort of lost.
I'm not by nature an optimistic person, more "the glass is half empty" type of gal. But I've learned over the years how to channel some of my negative energy into a more constructive focus, and to do the work to "reframe" situations to see the positive. However, right now I seem to be struggling with this work and it's a very big challenge to keep myself motivated and hopeful. I don't want this situation, this injury, to defeat me - I'm just running out of the energy it seems to take to keep it up.
I know that some day I'll run again, and I also know that some day is sooner than my worst nightmare. It may not be right around the corner, but if I keep my head up I know I'll see it soon.
I just gotta keep chanting "Hang in there Baby!"