Today I ran a 32 km long run - only the second time I have gone this distance. (3:26:02)
The last time I ran this distance it was so difficult, and I remember crying at the end because of that difficulty and the fear, I guess that I wouldn't be able to run a marathon.
Thanks, God. Today's run was so much better. Besides the fact that I improved on pace from 6:39 down to 6:26, I actually felt like I could have gone further - and this time instead of crying when my husband picked me up, I was actually boogeying down to a great tune. Not only did I have a big smile on my face, but so did my husband, who is in this thing for the long haul, and always worries that I'm pushing too hard.
This past week was a bit of a challenge on almost every run. While not challenging physically, the mental game that we runners play was tough to get through. My mind kept telling me to just quit, you've run enough, you don't need to prove anything... and on, and on. I almost had to step out of myself, so to speak, in order to see this other person that was trying to sabatogue my running goals. I talked to myself a lot - out loud - in a effort, a winning effort, to quiet that negative voice that was trying to make me quit, and ultimately, see myself as a quitter. Not going to happen.
This is one of the things that I so love about running. It's a place where I can square off with my negative inner voice, and triumph. I must admit that I tend to be a glass is half empty kind of person. But running, helps me to switch points of view, and be that half full type of person. I guess being successful at running helps me make that switch. As such, running is the time that I like to have all my life's conversations with myself. It's a time and place that I feel strong.
So it was a good running week - mentally and physically.