Slow and Steady

This morning, I had only my second out of doors run, meaning NOT on the treadmill. While it was so emotionally freeing to be in the fresh air (read humidity) it was much harder than running on 1% incline on the treadmill. My pace is very slow right now (7:30) (yikes!) but I'm more focused on working on time actually running, as opposed to my speed. I know that I'll eventually get back to my average 6:00 pace - so I'm not really worried.

Again, I just never realized that this injury would set me this far back in my running ability. The route I ran has a few small hills, really just what we call a rise and fall here in Bet Shemesh, which never used to be hard at all. Now, I've got to slow my pace and almost inch up those little hills. The whole time I'm pacing the hills, I'm continually telling myself to be calm, that eventually it will all come back.

The other problem I had on my run this morning was that I seemed to turn my ankle a little, which caused my peroneous to ache a bit. I'll take some AI meds and see if it goes away. I do not want a return of that tendonitus.

Today I also took my grandchildren swimming at the local pool where we ran into an entire gaggle of old women doing a water aerobics class. My granddaughter calls all older women Safta, which is hebrew for Grandmother, and me, I'm Bubby. It was so nice to see the respect she has, already at the age of 3, for this generation. It makes me proud that my children are doing such a good job raising my grandchildren... lol. My granddaughter is not swimming at all, mostly I bounce around the pool swimming with her around my neck and trying to get her used to the water. She certainly gave me a good water workout!

Tomorrow's a cross training day, and it is swimming! Hooray!

I'm going to be profiled!

Woo Hoo!

Melissa Hinson Neely is writing a new book on first time marathoners. She had a call out on her website to participate as one of six featured runners that she would follow during their first time marathon training and eventually profile in her book. So while I wasn't one of the selected '6' - she has decided that she would like to profile me on her website and tell my story. I'm so psyched!

This is her first book.

My own marathon training will start in two weeks, and for now I'm working on increasing speed and km. While I did try and stay fit while off with my injury - I didn't realize how much I would lose during the fourteen weeks off. I'm trying very hard NOT to be disappointed, and focus on the fact that at least I'm running, and God willing, will run my first marathon.

Certainly much to be happy about!

Guess Who's Back?

Whoo Hoo!

Happy, very happy to say that I'm back to running. Thanx God!

The Orthopedist finally gave the OK to start up again. He said there would probably be some minor pain - and that I could run through it - as long as I stopped if the pain was too bad. After that, he gave me a referral to an Ankle Specialist in case I wasn't better.

Well - glory be - things are fine. I'm up to 40 min sessions and the walk/run ratio is 1 min walk, 3 min run. By next week I should be able to run the full 40 minutes. It's a bit disappointing that according to the treadmill I am only running at a 8.6 km pace (where my usual speed is around 10 km), but I hope to eventually get it back to where it was prior to the injury.

I have plans to run a half marathon in December, and then my first full marathon in Tiberius on January 6, 2011. Training will start in September and I hope to be at full speed by then.

Obviously because there was no clear reason for my injury, there must also be a not so obvious lesson in all this. Meaning, there is something to learn from this long time off, and I'm going to do a little more introspection to figure it out.

Happy to be back!

False Start

Running Bubby.... Running Bubby.... This blog is supposed to be about my musings and meandering thoughts while running... Hmmm. Seems the only musing I have been doing is about not running.

I am now ten weeks post injury and it's still not looking good. I had the OK from the PT to slowly start to run this week, well you know, walk/run. My ankle was feeling fabulous and it seemed good to go. The first attempt was a walk 2 min, run 1 min thing. And I was able to do that for 20 mins. Afterwards, I felt a little pinching, but I thought it was going to be okay. The next day, I did a spinning workout, and thought I'd try a 5 min, rev your engine - remember the old days feeling mini jog to get me psyched for my return to running. Again, felt a little pinchy but okay.

Well - it's not okay. The pain in my peroneous came back and here I am on SL anti-inflammatory medicine, with the dream of running quite abruptly shoved off to the side, again.
I have an appointment with a new Orthopedist next Monday, but short of some tear in the tendon (which I don't think it is), he is not going to say anything different than what I have been hearing. Stay off it - rest - take anti-inflammatory meds.

10 weeks. How much longer is this going to go on? I'd really just like to fast forward to the part where I'm looking back on all this and saying, "Oh man, that was so hard and I'm glad I'm past it."

Running is more than just exercise to me. It's my time to focus on what's happening in my life and share a dialogue with my inner voice. It's for sorting out emotions and problem solving. It's a cleansing of all the stresses that keep me so wound up. It's a release - it's freedom.

I keep holding in my minds eye the image of me running - and I can see all my favorite runs. I know that I'll eventually get past this - I just wish it could be soon.

Hang in there Baby!

So we're not back to square one, but pretty close. Last week's permission to start to ease into running again was NOT successful. After giving it two separate trys, the walk/jog was just too painful and no matter how much I chanted "No pain, no gain," I just couldn't do it. The entire week saw my ankle and tendons aching and me wishing that I had waited longer.

Today I saw the Physio Therapist, and now I'm back in an ankle support with limited use, and a slow release anti-inflammatory for the next 10 days. Given the fact that I've gained almost a pound a week since the injury, I suppose I'll also be adding another couple of pounds before this is all over.

I don't want to sound melodramatic, but I feel like my runner identity is slowly slipping away. It feels as if I am losing the control that I had over my life, my weight and my sense of well being. Running did so much for me and honestly, without it I feel sort of lost.

I'm not by nature an optimistic person, more "the glass is half empty" type of gal. But I've learned over the years how to channel some of my negative energy into a more constructive focus, and to do the work to "reframe" situations to see the positive. However, right now I seem to be struggling with this work and it's a very big challenge to keep myself motivated and hopeful. I don't want this situation, this injury, to defeat me - I'm just running out of the energy it seems to take to keep it up.

I know that some day I'll run again, and I also know that some day is sooner than my worst nightmare. It may not be right around the corner, but if I keep my head up I know I'll see it soon.

I just gotta keep chanting "Hang in there Baby!"

No Pain, No Gain?

Peroneal Tendinopathy. That's what I'm suffering from now.

I am now 5 1/2 weeks post injury and my ankle (and area) is not fully recovered. In fact, sometimes I feel like it is as bad as the first day. (Okay, so that's not true.) Whereas before it appeared that I had a stress fracture, my PT now believes that it's just a very bad case of Peroneal Tendinopathy. All I know is that the pain pretty much moves around my ankle, and sometimes up my leg, and frustrates me beyond all else. Some days it's not that bad at all, and then the next minute, it's as if I re-injured it and I'm back to square one.

Today the PT told me that now I'm at a place in my recovery where she could say to rest the ankle, or to start and work it. All the pain I'm feeling now, is good pain. Can ya believe that?!? So.... she gave the go ahead to start and run, hmm, read jog. 2 minutes walk, 1 minute jog. Well now there is pain, and there is real pain. The walking part was fine. Even at 6 km and a 6% incline - not really a problem. As soon as I added in the 1 min jog (at 8 km) I felt the pain in my tendon so badly... OMG - this is good pain?

I managed 10 sets of 2 min walk, 1 min jog and couldn't wait to get off that darn treadmill. I soaked in a hot tub and slathered on anti-inflammatory cream. Now - it hurts, but much less than when my foot was actually striking during my jog. As much as I love running, I am NOT looking forward to tomorrows session.

When the injury first happened I was so upset and my pain was magnified by the possibility that I wouldn't be able to run for 6 weeks. Now as I've almost reached that 6 week mark, and I see that my recovery is going to be much longer than the initial assessment, I'm feeling quite dejected. It's a big statement to say that "I'm never going to run again," but that's pretty much the way I feel.

So now, I need to turn this around and look for the positives. Every day there is a tiny improvement, and I know that I should be embracing those small victories and using that progress to measure my recovery. I can't seem to do that - yet - but I do know that's the route I'm going to have to take in order to make it out of this place.

Tomorrow, when I get back on that treadmill to do my ten sets, I know it's going to hurt - and maybe my PT is right. It's a good pain that is hopefully going to pave the way to a pain free run.

Hold On

Finally, some light at the end of a long tunnel - okay, well a 4 1/2 week tunnel. That's when I quite out of the blue injured myself on my long run. Just running along at km 7 when I felt a little nip in my left ankle bone. You know, the kind of thing you feel like you can just shake off. A few steps more, and I felt a bit of tension just above the bone, again, feeling like I could just wiggle my ankle and brush it off. Three or four more steps and I stopped. Ah, just push through it, that was my first thought. And walked a bit. Nope. And with extreme heaviness I realized that something was really wrong here. I called my husband - come pick me up.

Stress fracture. What the heck? How did that happen?

Disappointment doesn't come close to how I felt. It was something deeper. Maybe it was shock. I don't know. I only knew that this was going to be a problem for me. Not to run. When I only just got it back?

6 weeks. That was the prognosis as I returned to the PT with the x-ray. I thought back then that I would never get through all the weeks. It was not a supporting bone, so while I could technically walk, I couldn't have anything touch the ankle bone or turn my ankle in any way to stretch the ligaments. Ouch. Then came the sympathy pain. It seems that the rest of the ligaments in my ankle and lower leg decided to get in on the action. Not amused.

But here I am now. With the go ahead to exercise the ankle and do some treadmill walking. NOT speed walking, just walking. That and some rehab work. And if truth be told - the rest has really helped to heal my ankle and the walking and exercises are showing me an improvement everyday.

While my PT is not God, she does forecast that I should be able to jump on the trampoline next week, and after that, well maybe some very light jogging.

I almost feel like I did when the HM was approaching and I would get nervous and anxious about the race. I am eager and anxious for the day to come to go back to my passion.

I really love to run. Hold On.